Over the last few years when people learned about my 100 Thing Challenge, they asked me questions. It has been my experience that many people asked the same questions on the surface while seeking answers to deeper questions in their hearts. So, I got questions like,
“What things did you keep?”
“What was the hardest thing to get rid of?”
There is a measure of curiosity in all of us, and thus there is a element of sincerity in those questions. Perhaps some people are only interested in questions like those. Yet many people, as we talked more, indicated they were after answers to questions less about my experience and more about their life purpose.
“Why is this possession so important to me that I cannot imagine living life without it?”
“Why do I want that thing so much that I have become obsessed with acquiring it?”
“Why does my spouse love that material object with all his heart, mind, and strength . . . if I am honest, seemingly even more than he loves me?”
The easier questions in life are fun to ask and lead to answers that satisfy our curiosities. They help us establish relationships with others and are a gateway to learning about the world. Such questions should roll off our tongues and the answers to them should make our hearts and minds smile. This is good.
Just do not be afraid to keep probing. “Where did you go to college?” Good question. Surely an interesting answer. And when you get a minute to yourself ask, “Why do I want to go to college?” “Just to get a better-paying job than other people?” “Will a college education make me a better person?” “Is virtue important enough to me that I would be willing to spend four years intensely studying it and proactively nurturing it in my life?” “Why or why not?”
The hustle of a consumer lifestyle keeps our days and our questions at the surface. One of the great blessings of simplicity is that it provides the physical, emotional, and spiritual space we need to be more thoughtful people, to ask deeper questions.
Comments
Again Dave,
You have nailed the real issue here. As I continue on my journey toward a simpler life with fewer consumables and more experience and love I too find the greatest side effect of simplicity is the ability to go deeper as to why we got caught up in all in the first place. My few hours spent at the mall while waiting for a movie yielded some interesting insights for me. I was attracted to new blouses and skirts and bags…at first. Then when I calculated how much time I would have to give up to buy the item in terms of making and selling jewelry (in my case appealing to someone else’s desire to own) I was able to step back and reflect on my still bulging closet and made a commitment to myself to wear more of what I own as if I just bought it. I felt a wave of relief and enjoyed my movie in the middle of the day with the sack lunch I brought along.
Firstly we are partly a product of our social conditioning and the environment we were brought up in. So the group dynamics of that social group will have heavily influenced our outlook and the construct with which we view the world.
Secondly, recent research has suggested genetic variants have a strong correlation that influences our personality which is hereditary and maybe up to 50% of our personality traits are inherited from our parents. Apparently one example is two forms of a serotonin transporter gene which can influence the degree of agreeableness and neuroticism in people.
Also there is a major debate on the subject of freewill and to what extent humans have real control over it? There is some evidence to show that in fact we have limitations which are related to genetic evolution/hardwiring……just fascinating!!
I agree entirely that people need to create space in their life to explore who and what they are, and why we live our life in a particular manner.
There are enormous group dynamic pressures trying to make us conform to accepted social protocols and people constantly fall into the confirmation bias trap of justifying their decisions/opinions. Again research has shown how our bias to lie to ourselves gave us potential evolutionary advantages to survive and these same ‘vehicles’ have been hijacked and led to confusion for many people in our capitalist/consumer world.
Freedom of constraint and time to explore our self-consciousness must form the bedrock to understanding the human condition we all live with.
I was featured in my local newspaper as “Creative and resourceful mom feeds her family for $100 a month.” Lots of people read the article. I got phone calls from strangers, a request from the local TV news station, and people I saw regularly but never talked to approached me. What they all asked: “Where do you shop?”
Living frugally is not about where you shop, but your attitude toward purchasing, your ability to be patient, and your flexibility. But, unfortunately, few people want to hear about that, because it requires a level of change that switching stores doesn’t. I wish I knew if there were deeper questions behind the question.